The following are some assorted notes, taken on my phone, during my trip thus far. I share them partly because they usually represented me at my absolute worst, and might (?) give some insight into how the travelling depressive brain sees things, and partly out of a sadistic need to spread my negative experiences as widely as possible. As if you don't have enough to worry about. Outward bound "Seven hours airborne, third film, nose hurts, bum sore, need a back rub. The child behind me is obnoxious and needs a good stabbing. Sleep is non-existent: eye masks not supplied. Dinner was ok but they ran out of the sea bass (obviously this is the worst thing ever). I may survive the jetlag, since it's basically just a shorter night. Plane webcam is cool though. I wonder if I should get another snack" "If the back of my chair gets kicked again, I shall politely ask that the persons behind me be ejected" "The plane smells odd, and the editing in Hitman: Agent 47 is... even odder" "Tired. Don't like HK. Sleep needed" Australia. Local pronunciation: "Straya" "Mood: listless. Weather also. Sydney is very clean and has big birds" "Shutters instead of a back wall in your bathroom sound jazzy and modern, but it also lets cockroaches in" "Trips would be less depressing, and much more relaxing if you didn't need to walk 157 miles every day to get anywhere" "At a country resort. Absolutely lovely, except my seating options are: flies, bees, screaming children, or heat stroke" "Leaving a stunning villa to sit on several trains and busses for two weeks doesn't exactly fill me with joy" "There are two screaming children in this train carriage that haven't quietened down for six hours. There is no physical way for all 6'2" of me to arrange myself into a sleeping position without limb removal. The old fuckers in front won't shut the fuck up, the lights from the next carriage are in my eyes, my pillow has a puncture, I'm bloated like a starving African, and this [see above] is how my mood has been affected" "Brisbane was OK. Noosa hostel was a hippy commune with no useable WiFi or TV, and a fucked up shower/toilet room with a massive viewing gallery window. Fraser Island is nice, except for all the ways white people tried to ruin it" "Fraser Island was good. Much fun, such friends etc. Generally going well except today where I'm whale watching and feel distinctly melancholy. My nails need clipping."
"This bus is full of young people" "Nothing wrong with an easy rainforest walk except being eaten (repeatedly) by horse flies the size of modest semi-detached homes" "Because Brisbane is stupid and doesn't do Daylight Savings, we've flow for just under two hours and somehow moved three time zones." More of these as I have them I guess. If nothing else it's proof positive that you can be having a great time overall and still catch yourself in moments of real genuine depressedness. I mean; I guess it lends a certain credibility to those of us trying to convince others that it's a bit more involved than just feeling "A Bit Sad".
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Author28 year old computer scientist/physicist with major depressive disorder, a need to write, and a deep-rooted mistrust of beetroot. Categories
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February 2018
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